Planning an Engagement: Part II of II

Last time we talked about the importance of “creating a memory” at your engagement.  At Kelleher International our job doesn’t end when we introduce you to “the One”, quite the opposite, this is exactly where our 24 years of experience comes into play to help you at every stage of your romance.

Okay, we’ve already covered THE PROPOSAL and it’s time to move on to AFTER THE PROPOSAL.

She wants to know that you are as excited about your now-pending nuptials as she is, and the more you do in the days immediately following the engagement, the more energy and anticipation you will creating heading towards wedding day.  You have to consider that

immediately after the engagement she will want to call her friends and family to tell them the great news, but you can plan your AFTER THE PROPOSAL memory to begin very soon after she says “yes”.

Here are a couple of great things I’ve heard from recent proposals:

  • Two tickets to Paris – a classic that never gets old
  • He booked a reservation for the next night at a four star restaurant with her best friend and his best friend – they would go on to be the Best Man and Matron of Honor
  • He planned brunch the next morning with her parents (he flew them into town) and his parents at a beautiful bay-view restaurant

Again, congratulations on getting ready to take that next step and good luck making a memory that will last a lifetime.

Welcome to Kelleher International

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

Let us come with you on your journey!

Jill & Amber

100 yards or 26.2 miles – is romance more of a dash or a marathon?

The first weekend of November marks one of my favorite athletic events – the New York City Marathon.  It is invigorating to watch thetriumph of human spirit as runners cross the finish line in Central Park – if you’ve never had the chance to experience it, I recommend the trip to NYC.

You have just decided to rededicate yourself to finding “the One”, are you hunkering down for a marathon or stretching for a sprint?

I won’t try to overplay the metaphor, but there are many parallels:

  • The initial thrill: just like the runners first crossing the Verrazano Bridge to start the race, there is high adrenaline on your first couple of dates with a new romance.  A runner is just excited to be in the race – if you’re in the early dating phase, enjoy that you have the good fortune to be spending time with interesting people and are actively creating your own future!
  • Hitting the Wall : You’ve been running for hours, the finish line is intellectually “close” but seems physically infinitely away, and it is the runner’s commitment to the goal and belief in themselves as a runner that gets them through this phase.  This is also where “sprint-like” goals come into play.  The marathon runner adjusts some of their focus to closer sprint goals – catching the runner ahead of them, making it to the entrance of Central Park,  kicking to the next water table.  If you’re “hitting the wall” in dating, what are a couple of sprint-goals you can go after?
  • Finishing Strong: that final kick hastens success and makes it feel even more magnificent.  If you’re in a romance and you can see the “big next step” is on its way, this is not a time to cruise, it is a time to find your next store of energy and cross that line with POWER.

No matter where you are in your search for “the One” (and I hope you are in the race!), the pursuit of love is a combination of sprints against close goals while keeping your motivation rooted in the long term goal.  Now stretch those hammies, picture yourself breaking the tape, and ready, set, love!

Dating the Alpha Female

At Kelleher International we bring together the most successful singles across business, sports, entertainment, education and philanthropy.  It’s thrilling to work with leaders from every corner of the globe and help them find “the One”.  There are dozens of books and whole schools of psychology around the “Alpha Male” and what makes them tick, and our network is full of these incredibly successful men.

But our network is also full of wildly accomplished women.  Whether they are TV Anchors, entrepreneurs, UN delegates or Heads of Surgery, they are at the top of their games and similarly deserve the title “Alpha Female”.

Are there different considerations when dating Alpha Males vs. Alpha Females?  An important part of a Kelleher International membership is relationship coaching, especially in the early stages of new love, and we work closely with our members to identify great matches and then light the spark romance.  So what advice do we give our top men as they begin to date the Alpha Female?

  1. Don’t Assume that the “Alpha” mentality defines every aspect of her life: while it’s true that many Alpha Males are also extreme athletes, adventure vacationers and collectors of the “best” of everything, the Alpha Female may follow a different pattern.  Her Alpha may be only professional, but in a relationship she seeks equal partnership.  She may enjoy beautiful Tahiti sunsets to the challenge of K2, or a drive through the Fall trees instead of a 10 mile bike ride.  There are no universal truths, but as you approach the relationship, do not jump the conclusion that she is 100% Alpha.
  2. Don’t mistake self-sufficiency for not wanting someone to depend on or to pay attention to her: She may have been incredibly successful on many fronts and is a self-made winner, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t seeking a strong male.  Centuries of conditioning have built into female DNA to seek the Provider and Protector.  No matter what her success, it is hard to fight hundreds of years of evolution.  What does that mean for you?  Don’t hesitate to take the lead on making plans (every woman loves a man with a plan), don’t hesitate to open the door for her, do exhibit your virility in the right circumstance.
  3. Let her play down her success if she wants to: if she doesn’t want to talk about her many successes, do not take this as a sign that she doesn’t want to share, or that she is shy or even overly humble.  Just like she can’t find centuries of evolution, she also knows that men can’t fight that either.  There is nothing inherently feminine about great success (although they are not in conflict in any way) and hundreds of years have carved into men’s DNA certain characteristics that she may choose to emphasize over her success.  She may choose to seem more nurturing than domineering, more sensual than aggressive – let her be who she wants to be and don’t define her by her Alpha status.

Great singles come together to make great couples, and at Kelleher International we see elite “Alphas” of all flavors come together and find a lifetime of happiness.  Are you one?  Call us and see if we have the match for you!!

Next Time: Are you an Alpha Female?  Tips on finding Love….