Welcome to Kelleher International
Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.
We’ll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom. We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world. The “right one” is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.
Let us come with you on your journey!
Jill & Amber
Posted by Kelleher International on February 6th, 2012
I just read a great article in this month’s issue of the Journal of Psychological Science in the Public Interest – a leading behavioral science publication. It was a summary of findings for a recent study completed by Northwestern University titled “Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science”. Here’s a link to the dry, but very thorough (63 pages) study [Report].
The twenty second summary: “the typical online dating site…doesn’t improve one’s chance of meeting a compatible mate.”
The study concludes that no online site has delivered the ability to judge chemistry or rapport — so-called “experiential” information — from searchable information. For example, the self-described psychological profiles developed by eHarmony don’t meaningfully improve partner matching. According to this study, if you want to increase your odds of finding a great match, the secret is to increase your social life and take references from people who “know” you and “know” the other person.
At Kelleher International we’ve known this for over 26 years and our team of seasoned matchmakers put together matches based on compatibility and their decades of match success experience. Here’s the full article. [link]
Posted by Kelleher International on January 30th, 2012
I’ve read dozens of articles over the years on how to “read women” and interpret their body signals. Everyone knows that women are more complicated than men, and that male species doesn’t have as sophisticated an unconscious messaging system right?
Wrong.
While men do give off a broader set of very obvious signals, they give off an equal set of subtle indicators that you can interpret during a date to better understand the dynamics of the evening. I just read a great article that identified a handful of these signals. Here’s a sample:
- Licking his lips is a good sign that signifies that he is nervous or waiting for something, but in a good way. He is nervous and conscious about the impression he is making, hoping it is a good one, and he is expecting you to notice it.
- His shoulders and chest positions towards you even if he is looking at someone or something else. When you are in a party and you and your friends do not know whom he is after with. Look where his chest and shoulders position at, then you may now guess whom he is after with.
- If a man smoothens or ruffles his hair, this body language means that he is smartening himself for you. This is the most common actions by most men did, and it is a good thing. He is trying to make himself best for you.
- When a guy stands or sits and his toes are facing toward each other, more likely than not he is feeling uncertain, doubtful, and unconfident on himself. This is usual for men who are shy-type, even if he is digging you, he wants to make sure if the feelings is mutual.
- A stroke on his face is also good sign. When you are telling something and he unconsciously strokes his cheeks or leans his hands on his chin, this means that he is listening and interested on what you are saying. However, if he rubs his forehead together with a cringe, this means that your conversation is not good enough or he does not understand anything.
- After a long talk and you are not sure if he likes you or not signs like when he buries his hands on his pocket, turns his belly away from you, crosses his legs, and decreases eye contact – this means that is just not into you.
- Signs that he is lying are whether he shrugs his shoulder when you asks him something, he shakes his head but says opposite, and little or no eye contact at all.
- When he smiles with his top lips stretched wide and his front teeth are barely peeking through is a polite signal that he enjoys your company but feels that the sparks are not there yet. However, this does not mean that it will not develop.
The better you can read a man during a date, the better you can deliver great responses to his quiet signals.
Posted by Kelleher International on January 23rd, 2012
You’re back in the dating world after a pretty long hiatus and are ready to meet the right woman. You’ve also got a seven year-old son. From your now-dust-covered dating experience, you recall that kid = complication, kid = baggage, and you’re wondering “when do I tell a date that I have a kid?”
First, you need to adjust your “kid = complication, kid = baggage” equation and restate it as “kid = reality”.
Don’t mention that you have a son in the first few seconds of your introduction call, but as soon as it seems natural, share your family with her.
Not telling her pretty early on is like a bald guy wearing a baseball hat to a first date — eventually your amor is going to find out, and if she’s not the type of woman that goes for a family man, then the sooner you air that out, the better. Also, for the right kind of woman, being a great Dad is a very attractive characteristic.
Posted by Kelleher International on January 16th, 2012
I read an interesting book over the holidays called “Love for Grown-Ups: The Garter Brides’ Guide to Marrying for Life When You’ve Already Got a Life”. It’s a lovely read about a set of great girlfriends that decide “It’s never too late for love.” The ladies’ friendship makes a great backdrop for the story, but the themes the women adopt as they set out for love is the real meat of the tale.
Here is the mantra they adopted:
1. Leave the Past in the Past — don’t let past bad romances ruin future ones.
2. You Won’t Meet Someone New in Your Living Room — tell everyone you know that you’re on the market and never miss a party.
3. Give a Guy a Chance — try going against your typical “type” and see how it goes.
4. Look at Blind Dates like First Dates — don’t discount them.
5. Time is on Your Side — don’t rush. There is no hurry to have him meet your kids or you meet his. The romance begins with the two of you.
6. Happily Ever After Can Happen to You — It’s never too late to find true love.
It’s a fun book and an easy read with some inspiration for women getting back into the dating market after a long break.
Posted by Kelleher International on January 9th, 2012
It’s that time of year when people are making New Years Resolution, and everyday I talk to a handful of singles that are adding “find love” to their list…for the third year in a row. I appreciate the enthusiasm and optimism, but as soon as they agree to work with Kelleher International I pose the very difficult question — so what’s different this time?
Are you revisiting your criteria? Are you dedicating a significant additional amount of time to finding “The One”? Have you decided to expand your geography target?The decision to prioritize finding love is a great first step, but without some real change in behavior or outlook, you risk expending all of your energy on the “decision” and not on the “action”.
So, I’ll ask you again — What is going to be different in 2012?
Posted by Kelleher International on January 3rd, 2012
During this first week of January, the media is filled with “looking back at 2011″ and “making resolutions for 2012″. Every year we hear hundreds of people in January make a “resolution” to find “the One” in the New Year. With everyone who shares this desire with me I give four simple words of advice — “make it a habit”. You throw your keys on the same spot on the table at the end of the day without thinking twice. It’s hard to fall asleep without brushing your teeth because something feels “unfinished”. You could blindfold yourself and find the way from your home to your daily Starbucks. If you can change “finding The One” into a habit, then this resolution won’t fall into the black pit of broken resolution dreams. Get out a piece of paper. Write down what you are going to do each of the next fourteen days to advance your search for the right relationship. At the end of two weeks, you’ll have laid the groundwork for a habit that will will carry you through 2012.
Posted by Kelleher International on December 26th, 2011
Kris Kringle is a model husband. He’s been true to his wife for centuries, has a steady job with good benefits (castle, servants, free uniforms), is great with kids and has a lot of vacation time. Here are three tips from Santa on how to find true love.
1. Give. You don’t have to drop off millions of gifts to children all over the world, but you find ways to be generous and share your feelings with others and you will increase your ability to build connections with new people and develop new relationships.
2. Rely on your team. A team of reindeer help Santa be all he can be, you should turn to your friends and anyone else who can help you get closer to meeting “the One”. You’ve got great friends, Santa has his elves.
3. Lead with your Red Nose. What are your best qualities? When making a first impression, be sure to lead with what sets you apart from others and reflects what’s unique about you.
Posted by Kelleher International on December 19th, 2011
I have an activity for your today. You pour a lot of energy into dating, seeking, preparing and thinking about finding your next relationship. For a weekend, where else can you point that relationship energy? Are you overdue with catching up with a friend? Would your favorite niece love to get a call from you? Have you missed four Sundays in a row with the fellas watching football? Skip of weekend of the hunt for romance and focus that energy on other relationships in your life. You will find yourself re-energized by great times with friends and ready to double your efforts to find “the One”. Enjoy!
Posted by Kelleher International on December 12th, 2011
Hurry, hurry, wrap a gift, , finish that work project, send a card, stop at the grocery store, hit the gym… December is the busiest month of the year as we all try to pack in “just one more thing” to our day. Give yourself an early gift this year and give yourself a relaxing hour to regroup and refresh around the relationship you hope to have. Get off the todo list treadmill and take a deep breath. Ask yourself, where is finding a relationship in your priorities and are you giving it the attention it deserves? Think about a year into they future — what would be great about being with “The One”, and on the flip side, what would be bad about it. Finding love shouldn’t be a chore with a handful of tasks on your todo list, take some time today to reconnect with what is important…and then back to your frenzy!
Posted by Kelleher International on December 5th, 2011
We all wish we could wave a magic wand sometimes and “make things come true”. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have nearly enough magic wands at our disposal. The real secret to getting what you want is a combination of BIG STEPS and LITTLE STEPS. The single best BIG STEP you can take to transform your life is to engage Kelleher International in your search for The One. But you also have to couple that with the Little Steps that will lead you to where you want to go. Have you revisited what’s important to you in a relationship? Have you stopped at the gym to keep your health at its best? Are you bringing the right attitude to the wedding your attending this weekend? Great ballplayers hit a lot more singles than homeruns on their way to batting championships. The same is true about finding love.
Posted by Kelleher International on December 1st, 2011
“Our first Thanksgiving together was an incredible success! I had the usual jitters with him meeting my family for the first time, but I think that’s just a sign of how important he is to me. Thank you so much for your help navigating the road to romance to this wonderful man. I can’t wait to see what the new year brings.”
“I said ’she’s not my type’. You said ‘trust me’. I said, ‘no really, that’s not the profile I’m looking for.’ You replied with one word – ‘trust’. November was the best month of my life. I need to be more trusting.”
“Delightful, delightful, delightful. Within 30 seconds all of my apprehensions washed away as [Dan] and I started to get to know each other. He almost instantly reminded me of unique the joy that no person can create by themselves. Thank you Kelleher!”
“I knew that she was the one you were introducing me to the minute she walked into the room. I didn’t know I was going to see her seventeen of the next twenty days.”
“Wow. [Mark] is handsome, intelligent, worldly, and, it seems, interested! Thank you so much for the great introduction. I wonder if this means a move to Chicago is in my future?
Posted by Kelleher International on December 1st, 2011
Santas on the corner. Carolers at the door. Dreidels spinning. Year-end wrap ups on every news outlet. There is a feeling to this time of year that draws something out of almost everyone and broadcasts great insight into who we all are. If you’re meeting someone for the first time or are in the early stages of a relationship, how this person embraces the holidays will tell you a lot about their personality. Try these three holiday tests to learn a little more about your potential romance:
Does her home feel like the holidays? How a woman keeps a holiday home speaks volumes about the environment she might create for the two of you. Is it full of personal touches, smells and maybe a cookie or two? This will be created a half dozen different ways during the year, so pay close attention.
Is she a master wrapper? We’re talking ribbons and paper here, not Run DMC. Wrapping is the final detail of a gift that separates those committed to making great experiences versus those just meeting the obligation. A beautifully wrapped gift is another indicator of the energy she will put into her personal attention
to you and the pride she takes in her work.
Does she have a favorite Christmas Carol? If someone sings only once a year, it’s most likely a rousing rendition of Frosty the Snowman or O Come All Ye Faithful. Her ability to let loose during “there must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found” will tell you a lot about her willingness to let go and have some fun. It also works with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Check out these indicators and remember, how you embrace the holidays is telling her a great story as well!
Posted by Kelleher International on December 1st, 2011
Kimberly
I’ve recently been out on a couple of dates each with two great women, and it’s about that time to set some New Year’s plans. I like them both, but obviously can only ask out one. I know whom I want to kiss at midnight, but I don’t want to send the “I’m not interested” message to the other woman. How do I handle this?
If you’re a couple of dates into each of them, then it sounds like you have enough data points to be making a decision based on where your heart and your head are taking you. Listen to what they are both telling you, ask the one woman to watch the ball drop with you and tell the other woman that it’s time to move on. That’s right, cut her loose. Success in relationships is not about keeping as many options open as possible, it’s about moving forward aggressively with what your heart and head tell you. At Kelleher International we constantly counsel our clients about honesty and directness, and so our message to you is embrace your choice, say goodbye to lady #2, and move forward with momentum with the lucky lady you’ve chosen. Happy New Year’s!
Posted by Kelleher International on December 1st, 2011
Deer Valley, Utah
Romantic Hotel
Montage Deer Valley [show]
Stunning View
The fire pits at the St. Regis [show]
Romantic Restaurant
Fireside Dining at Empire Canyon Lodge [show]
Posted by Kelleher International on November 28th, 2011
The cover of Cosmo, Dr. Phil, the latest Jennifer Aniston movie, this blog… we’re always looking for lessons in love to make us more successful in our relationships. Today, turn to the person who knows the most about your heart and who the right “One” is for you. That person is YOU. Even if you haven’t found your perfect partner, you’ve had a lifetime of friendship of love that has shaped the key to your heart. Instead of making a list of characteristics like “she has to be x tall, or he has to have visited y countries”, look at your past friends and romances and try to pick three themes that have run through them. Did you share a particular interest? Were they a certain type of funny? Did they make you feel secure or hopeful or content? Put these at the top of your list of things to look for in your next love.
Posted by Kelleher International on November 21st, 2011
Women love men that can command authority and for just a moment capture the entire attention of a room. For the average guy, giving a toast is as close to being a rock star on stage as we’re ever going to get. If you find yourself at Thanksgiving, and there is that awkward moment at the beginning of the meal (or earlier during cocktails), seize your rockstar moment and make the ladies swoon. Heres a quick recipe for a memorable toast:
1. Thank the host/hostess for bringing together friends at this time of year
2. Celebrate our great fortunes over the past year — if you know others in the room/at the table, call out their specific successes (but not your own)
3. Ask people to bow their heads for a moment and think about something they are grateful for, and whatever their beliefs, how they hope to share
their abundance over the next year.
4. My the hope and joy at this table flow over all of us and bring a great year ahead.
Posted by Kelleher International on November 14th, 2011
It’s that time of year when our calendars begin to fill with personal and professional events to celebrate the season. Make the most of the meet someone new opportunity by following these three simple guidelines.
Be Choosy Pick three people at the party that you want to meet and learn something about. Don’t get trapped talking to whomever had the nerve to come and talk to you. A polite “I need to go say hello to someone I haven’t seen in years” is an easy exit.
Reveal, don’t Interview You’ve got 30 seconds to make an impression and it’s not going to come from “so, what do you do?” After you introduce yourself, share a little something like, “What I love about this annual fundraiser is…”, or “my favorite thing about the host and hostess is…” This will introduce a great topic, put your “target” at ease, and in the first 10 seconds make you into a “person”, not a “stranger”.
Cut if Off. Don’t try to make an evening out of the conversation. After five minutes, suggest you continue this conversation in the future and then move on — you both have other social commitments at the event and you have other prospects to explore.
Posted by Kelleher International on November 7th, 2011
If you’re in the early stages of a relationship, there is always pressure around Thanksgiving. Should you both go to one family’s event, split between two, or go your own separate ways. How can you keep your match from being grilled by Uncle Terry? One bedroom or two.
Forget all of that. Overload on communication and all of that hubbub will play itself out.
Instead, focus on how you are going to make a “memory” out of this Thanksgiving. What is the shared experience or tradition that you will share with your match that you will remember next week, next year and for years to come? We’re still a few weeks away, so you have plenty of time to plan the memory. It could be a intimate dinner the Tuesday before Thanksgiving that becomes and annual event. It could be a handwritten note capturing what you are thankful about him/her. It could be some shared volunteer time with those less fortunate. In ten years, neither of you will remember if someone accidentally insulted Aunt Jenny’s pumpkin pie or if someone got put on the spot by a good-intentioned older brother — what you will remember is a shared experience that celebrated thankfulness, gratitude, and your blossoming love as a couple.
Posted by Kelleher International on October 31st, 2011
Fall will quickly turn to winter, and to me, Winter + Romance = Fireplaces.
I just saw a quick show on Travel Channel highlighting the best hotel fireplaces so I just HAD to pass it on. The great thing about California is the outdoor fire pit which makes any night seem romantic. For a total release from the pressures of the city, another favorite is in the bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel — it fights back the cold of even the harshest Manhattan winds. [Check out the full list]
Posted by Kelleher International on October 24th, 2011
One of my favorite parts of fall is the changing of the leaves. The beauty, the renewal, the smell in the air — all bring back great memories and put me in a great state of mind for romance. I think nothing beats a drive through a scenic fall setting, and whether you live East or West, North or South, there are plenty of great places to start to enjoy the Fall. One of my favorites is along the coast of Maine — the ocean smell seems to reach fifty miles inland and the trees are stunning. Here’s a great list of roads to drive yourself into Fall.
